On the day my father did not recognize his son....

In visiting my father in the nursing home a few days ago, for the first time, he did not recognize me when I was leaving and saying goodbye.  I was not sad or devastated.  I have had several years to prepare for this and he is almost 95 years old.  He is near the end of his life.

But I did go into a pensive questioning state.   So, I chose to go for a walk on the shore of Lake Hartwell.  I love being in nature while in that kind of mood.  Probably goes back to childhood on the farm.  Some of my most memorable experiences were in nature settings.
  

I was standing at the edge of a large expanse of water near the long earth and rock dam.  The ground was wet and soft from the rain that had just stopped and there was the smell of just starting to rot fall leaves.  There was a strong, cold and noisy wind that had that sense of crispness that you feel after the air is scrubbed clean by rain. 

Standing in the midst of this spaciousness, the usual mental chatter stopped and there was awareness of the vast spaciousness that contained all of this.... the trees, the wet dirt, the dark and light clouds floating in the unending blue sky, noisy wind, kids on the nearby playground and mountains on the horizon across the rough water.

My dad will soon disappear into this spaciousness, leaving behind a broken and worn out body.  His spirit will be liberated and know a freedom that it has not known for almost 95 years.

I was filled with awe, joy and tears.

Jimmy Wilson